Firstly we must remember that we are fighting against Satan's army where he has all that do not believe in Jesus fooled. Unfortunately, he also has many believers fooled because their identity is wrapped up in believing what the abusers in their life have taught them that is anti biblical.
For an unbeliever, happiness may be the goal of their life. But for a believer they may just be so confused about the abuse they have received that they remain bitter and hateful forgetting that the word tells us to forgive, to root out bitterness, to find our joy in the Lord. It also tells us to focus on the good things not the bad. If you think in your own mind that you can rationalize the way to be around a narcissistic controlling person then you have left God out of the equation. You see it in many self help websites and the advice of many secular psychologists. Is what they are saying mostly correct? Probably but when you leave God out you cannot access the way of escape which is through Jesus Christ.
Ephesians 6:12 KJV
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
1 John 4:18 KJV
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
John 1:5 KJV
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
John 3:19-21 KJV
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
20 For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
21 But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
Romans 13:12 KJV
The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.
If you are feeling like you have controlling behaviors or you want to pay someone back for something they have done to you there is another way. You can let God take care of it and because He says that vengeance is His, not ours. Also, we have the ability to cast off the works of darkness and put on the armour of light. Do you believe that? Then seek for that.
When you walk in darkness you don't not know where you are going.
John 12:35 KJV
Then Jesus said unto them, Yet a little while is the light with you. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you: for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.
Matthew 5:44-47 KJV
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47 And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Nehemiah 8:10 KJV
Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
1 Peter 1:7-9
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
8 Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
9 Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls.
We are saved, are being saved and will be saved. Our ultimate joy will be realized not here in this world but with Jesus when we once and for all have the incorruptible body put off and are given our glorified body and we are with Jesus. So the trouble we have in this life is to be expected.
We get our strength from God
Psalms 37:39 KJV
But the salvation of the righteous is of the LORD: he is their strength in the time of trouble.
Concerning husbands:
We are commanded to love our wives.
Ephesians 5:25 KJV
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Stop being a pansy womanish man and do what God says.
And know that Satan wants to destroy you. Especially you Christian.
1 Peter 5:8 KJV
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
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