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How To Stop Being Negative and Judgmental - A biblical perspective

In the world when we hear someone say, "Don't judge me" the person saying it is typically not referring to what judgment Jesus was referring to when he said not to judge or rather if we judge we will be judged.  There are so many biblical truths in that statement that I'll only address a couple.  But we must identify what judgment is and there are differing kinds of judgments.  The bible says we should judge and in most cases this is referring to discerning things based upon what we witness in another person's life.

But I'm going to touch on the kind of judgment we cannot do but most people do and it causes great harm.  The kind of judgment where we say someone did something and also and here is the danger where we assign a motive to why someone did something.  Because when we claim we know something that we cannot for certain know we are putting ourselves in a dangerous position of acting as if we are God.

Every time we do that it is not going to be good.So in order that Christians believe they should judge the heart of someone we have to get them past the desensitization we have all been subjected to because of all the social justice warriors that define judging as seeing something that is wrong according to our moral standard and calling it out as wrong.  Calling sin sin according to the word of God is not popular with the secular world, but we Christians can do that.  We don't judge unbelievers though.  So that isn't the type of judging Jesus is talking about in Matthew 7 I do not believe.

So if you are a Christian that believes only what the secular world has taught you about what judging is then you may say, "don't tell me not to judge!"  It is a strange trick because it makes Christians even more resistant to hearing this simple truth about not judging.

So they want to hold on to this wrong kind of judging the heart and then say they don't do it.  It opens a door of evil and chaos in the life of the person that judges and anyone that is around them.  It leads to anxiety, depression, rejection, legalistic behavior, defining standards the bible doesn't define and calling them right, leading to all kinds of sickness in the body of Christ and the body of the one perpetrating this behavior of judging the heart of the one that has offended them.

Then this type of person has a difficult time releasing the person who has done something against them from the offense.  Forgiveness is hard for them.  Then bitterness sets in and takes a root.  This is so very dangerous for a believer to be in this spot.  They may say things like, "why should I forgive you? What's in it for me? I don't want to forgive you."  Why do they say this?  They have been hurt in the past and as a defense they hold on to the upper hand they feel they have by holding an offense over you. A small misunderstanding can turn into multiple day arguments where in the end there is no real forgiveness but rather just an exhaustion over the whole thing and in the end all the arguing with the offender attempting to get the offender to agree with them on why this was done.  It can last as long as the body can take it many times.  Sickness may come during this time as well for both the parties. Nothing is solved in this kind of fight over opinions.

So how can someone escape the vicious cycle of negative thinking, judging the heart, passing a verdict and assigning a penalty to the offender and holding unforgiveness?

It is complicated, but if someone is a believer God can help them by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Also, the person that is judgmental is basically in need of healing.  They may have a spirit of rejection on them that kicks in whenever they go into a dark place in their mind and then they become paranoid and hyper sensitive to anything that might be offensive.  The people
around them walk around on egg shells to try and not trigger them and send them into a multi day argument which as mentioned already never really accomplishes anything.  They may surrender at the end and come to some kind of reconciliation with the other person but this problem then just goes dormant to rise up another day. And knowing this is depressing for them. So it is a difficult thing.

But if you can recognize you are eliciting this kind of behavior you can get help from God.  His word is critically important in getting straight on what things we are to discern and judge rightly and what
things only God can judge and how we cannot go there.  And if we do then we will have that same kind of condemnation from others upon us.

It is so easy to be a hypocrite.  If you think you are good then you are in trouble.  If you think you are justified in being like God and judging the heart then you are on your way to being worn out by Satan.




Matthew 7:1-2 Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;


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